Top 5 sex moves we just made up!

| November 27, 2008 | 0 Comments


As the ghostboner crew transcended upon their favorite eatery for beer and the best hot wings in the world. We knew that such a gathering meant there was work to be done. Work so devious the weak would shy away the very mention of it. Work so vile, so well kept in the depths of the mind that only one crew was capable of completing the task. Behold! The top 5 sex moves that we just plain made up.

1: The Post Master.- Must be performed in a moving vehicle, this is when the passenger takes control of the wheel and receives fellatio from the driver. Creating the image to oncoming motorists that he is driving… like a mail man.

2: The Sunday Gazette.- Possibly the most illegal of all the sex moves. and highly frowned upon by your neighbors. This is taking advantage of a pre-pubescent boy on a bicycle. Typically “helping” with laces caught in the chain.

3. The Duster.- This is simple and will inevitably happen to the best of us. This is performing oral sex on an elderly woman during the dry season.

4. The Maestro.- The Maestro is the most classy of all the new moves. It is receiving Fellatio while playing a musical instrument. You get 5 bonus points if it is a classical instrument, and the kazoo doesnt count.

5. There is a tie for 5th place
The Scorched Turf. Which is a sudden grab and yank of the Pubic hair. Typically without warning.

The Holy War. This is the proper nomenclature for Trading between orifices more than considered to be socially acceptable.

The Honorable Mention list.-
The Biloxi Trollyride
The Fortnight
The Burning Atlanta (same as the Flaming Amazon only with a different hat)
The Spruce Goose
The Jonas Salk
The #7
The Fantastic 4
The Ponce De Leon
The Lanky Nomad
The Happy Prospector
The Rosa Parks
The Innocent Bystander
The Conscientious Objector
The Black Tuesday
The Depth Charge
Pickle Nostalgia
The John Steinbeck’s Of Mice And Men
The Fancy Feast
The Tahitian Treat
The Invincible Holocaust (passport required)
The Shattered Mosaic
The Wilford Brimley
The Wicked Game
and of course, The Breech Loader.

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